Spotlights

Foster parents make an immeasurable difference in the lives of the children in their care. Whether a foster youth’s biological parents are working to reunify with them, or the youth is waiting to be matched with loving adoptive parents, foster parents can provide safety, stability, and comfort during an uncertain time. 

In this guest blog, Tanya Young, Marketing Manager at One Hope United, shares some of the key knowledge and insights she gained after becoming a foster parent, as well as several tips for others who are new to fostering or are simply interested in learning more about the process.

At the end of 2020, my husband and I decided to take the steps to becoming foster parents, and we officially became licensed foster parents in Illinois the following year. 

We had our first interview in our home, and being new to this side of foster care, we asked what felt like a million questions. Between my personal experience as a former child in foster care and our initial interview, hours of virtual training, and a lengthy home study, I felt completely prepared for this next chapter in my life as a new foster mom. Much like they say when a couple is about to have a baby, you will never really be ready to be a parent. Being a foster parent is no exception to the rule. You can read all the books, complete all the trainings, and still things will pop up that you’d never even considered. And that’s okay. What’s most important is your willingness to grow with the challenges and reach out for help when you feel in over your head. 

Here are 10 things I wish I knew before becoming a foster parent. 

1. Sometimes space is better than a hug. Every situation is different, but it’s important to consider what your child needs as well as what you need. If your child is screaming at the top of their lungs, offer a method to calm down – deep breaths are a go-to for me – so they can speak, and you can listen. A hug might help, but sometimes your child just needs the space to calm down on their own. Before leaving, let them know that you’ll be back to check on them in five minutes or when they’re calm. Take the time away to check in with yourself and make sure you’re self-regulating during this stressful situation.
2. Stay consistent. Just like you’re learning about your foster child, they’re learning about you. Staying consistent with expectations and consequences for negative behaviors makes it easier for everyone. I’ve found that if kids in our care know how we’ll react to negative behaviors, those behaviors get easier to deal with. There are times when we’ve needed to switch up our parenting techniques, but as long as it’s not causing the behavior to get drastically worse, we try to give it a couple of weeks before switching it up.
3. Communication with biological parents is so helpful, but only do what you’re comfortable with. Initially, for safety reasons, courts may not allow communication between the biological parents and foster parents, but often, communication is allowed and encouraged. If you’re comfortable talking directly with biological parents, the caseworker will establish that communication. Some of my foster parent friends use Facebook Messenger or Google Voice if they’d like to be able to call the biological parent to coordinate visits, but don’t feel comfortable giving out their personal number.
4. Everything doesn’t come out of pocket. Fostering is a financial commitment because the reality is there will be things that come up, like trips to the zoo and birthday parties, that the monthly reimbursement doesn’t cover. However, monthly reimbursement does cover basic needs like food and sometimes a reasonable allowance. Each month you’ll probably spend more than what’s reimbursed, but some states will also reimburse costs for daycare, transportation, therapy, and even some extra-curricular activities. Ask your licensing agent or caseworker what resources are available to you.
5. Training never stops. After you become licensed, each state has different requirements for yearly additional foster parent training credit hours. This can take many forms like additional PRIDE trainings, reading approved parenting books, or attending training events. There may be forms that have to be filled out so ask your licensing agent about what’s accepted.
6. If you meet your foster child’s biological parents, it will be awkward. Regardless of the situation, keep compassion at the forefront of your mind. Foster care can be difficult for everyone involved and additional judgement just makes that worse.
7. You do not have to do this alone. Family and friends are a great support system, but as a foster parent you also have a built-in support system with your agency. If repeated behaviors are getting overwhelming for your household, reach out to your caseworker. Depending on what’s happening, the caseworker may offer respite care, therapy, or in-home support like Intensive Placement Stabilization (IPS).
8. Yes, you can go out of state with your foster child. Each state is different, but most recognize there’s a variety of reasons you’d need to travel out of state with a child in your care. For instance, my husband and I live close to the Wisconsin border, so we’re only required to text our caseworker when we’re in that area, but if we’re going to any other state we need to coordinate the trip ahead of time. There could be some additional limitations to this depending on the state, agency, and the case itself, so always check with your caseworker first.
9. Your foster child will accumulate a lot of stuff. It’s bound to happen if a child is placed with you for more than a couple of months. Just remember, in foster care, reunification is the main goal. Some agencies will provide foster children with additional suitcases or duffle bags when a reunification date is set. Moving boxes can also be an economical choice when preparing for the big day.
10. Document and report. A bumped head at the park, a fall off the bed, an unusual rash? All worth documenting. Take pictures of any associated injuries (no matter how small) and give a brief explanation of what happened to your caseworker. If you’re communicating with the biological parents, you may want to share this with them as well to avoid any surprises at upcoming visits. Put yourself in the biological parent’s shoes… if your child came home with a big bump on the side of their head, you would want to know what happened.

Each year, more than 250,000 children are placed in foster care in the United States. If you’re able to provide a supportive home and are interested in becoming a foster parent, click here.

Dr. Raj and Rose Bhatt have spent 59 years working and living in Lake County, IL, and distinguishing themselves as leading philanthropists. Raj built an esteemed career at Abbott Laboratories as a research and development scientist, utilizing his PhD in Microbiology and Biochemistry. Rose worked as a Lab Technician and raised her 2 children, Ramesh and Anita. The Bhatts also have four grandchildren. Fortunately for One Hope United, they have shared their time and talent with the organization for over 54 years. 

In 1968, when Raj and Rose were members of the First Baptist Church in Waukegan, they became familiar with what was known then as the Central Baptist Children’s Home. The organization operated its Busy Bee Early Learning Center in the annex across the street from the church. As Rose researched her options for childcare while preparing to return to work, she chose Busy Bee for her son, Ramesh. Rose and Raj always felt he received the best care and stimulation, and this early education provided the foundation for their son’s future success. Reflecting on the impact of their volunteerism and philanthropy, Rose is quick to say the unparalleled quality of One Hope United’s early learning programs has made them proud to be part of the mission. 

Because she was so impressed with the quality of education at Busy Bee, Rose became an active volunteer. She also shared her efforts and talents with the Central Baptist Women’s Auxiliary, raising funds for the Early Learning Centers and Lake Villa Residential program. Rose and her husband Raj are two of One Hope United’s most generous donors and contributed one of the largest donations in history in the form of a stock donation. 

Even during busy or challenging seasons of life, Rose and Raj have remained committed to One Hope United, because they see the value the organization adds to so many communities. One story in particular has stayed with them through the years. At a June picnic celebrating the kickoff of summer for youth at the Lake Villa Residential home, they met a spirited 8-year-old who epitomized the positive influence of the care provided there. The youth was placed with OHU after the Department of Children and Family Services (DCFS) found him in an empty warehouse, where they suspected he had been living on his own for about two weeks. His parents lost track of him due to their addiction issues and struggles to find a place to live. He had never attended school, but was bright and enthusiastic about all learning, especially math. He thrived in school and leapt ahead two grade levels quickly. Rose and Raj were struck by the effectiveness of the intervention OHU provided. 

When asked how they feel about the impact they’ve made for OHU as Scofield Gibbs Society members, they shared they are sincerely grateful for being able to support many children and families in need in Lake County. They have also appreciated One Hope United’s commitment to stewarding their contributions well by maintaining excellent staff and keeping a handle on administrative costs. Their legacy is the many hours spent volunteering over 54 years, and their generosity in annual contributions and a planned gift. 

Learn how you can make an impact for One Hope United through a planned gift.

In 2015, Elijah and Deviana were removed from their biological parents’ care when Elijah was only a year and a half and Deviana six months old. The siblings were placed with a foster family through a foster care agency in Florida. When the COVID-19 pandemic started, their foster family experienced new stresses that left them unable to continue to provide a home for the pair. Having already spent years in the foster care system, their caseworker at the time placed Elijah and Deviana in a pre-adoptive home. Unfortunately, their road to adoption would be long and rocky. 

As time went on, it became clear that Elijah and Deviana’s pre-adoptive family wasn’t the right fit. During a time that had so many changes for these two children, their pre-adoptive family was considering separating Elijah and Deviana. 

Fortunately, with the help of Elijah and Deviana’s One Hope United team, as well as the advocacy of OHU’s partners at Wendy’s Wonderful Kids, a new match with loving parents was made for Elijah and Deviana. Dr. Letitia Browne-James, Elijah and Devian’s adoptive mother, is a licensed and board-certified clinical mental health counselor, and her husband, Mr. Jonah James served in the Army.

Dr. Browne-James and her husband knew adoption would be their path to parenting. After passing home studies, their adoption recruiter reached out to share details around Elijah and Deviana’s case. They worked to shield the children from the anxiety and stress of prolonged legal proceedings, while being open and honest with them. “I always wanted my children to know we weren’t giving up on them – we were actually fighting for them,” Dr. Browne-James said. 

“These parents were present at every court date, and often shared updates with us via text or email on how their children were doing – the bad days and the good days,” shared Lindsay Dodich, BSW/CCWCM, Lead Adoption Specialist with OHU’s Florida Services. While Elijah and Deviana’s initial adjustment to their new home was challenging, their parents were ready to go above and beyond to make sure they received all the therapies and support they needed. 

“They are the epitome of what foster and adoptive parents should be,” Lindsay concluded. “Letitia knew she was meant to be a mom. She kept her heart open, and never stopped believing in her family.” On August 4, 2022, Judge Greg A. Tynan finalized their adoption – ensuring Elijah and Deviana would always have the love, safety, and security of a forever family. 

Because their case was open for seven years, almost every staff member on One Hope United’s Florida Adoption team got to know Elijah and Deviana. Knowing they are stable, and part of a loving family touched each of their hearts. Today, both Elijah and Deviana are thriving in school, and their behavioral and mental health are improving. Elijah was especially excited about having a last name that matched his parents’. He loves karate, action movies, bikes, and video games. Deviana is into dress-up, arts, makeup, and dolls. Their family has worked together to help the siblings improve their relationship, which is strong and healthy now. 

When possible, keeping sibling groups together is always a priority for OHU Foster Care and Adoption staff. Lindsay Dodich said, “Elijah and Deviana have only had each other their whole lives. I’ve never seen siblings who are so fiercely protective of each other. As they’ve continued to grow and thrive with their parents, I’ve seen their healing journey move forward.”

Dr. Browne-James shared, “Lindsay kept me sane. She is an amazing person and was always professional and responsive. She advocated whenever she could to help us get to this point.” 

When asked what advice she would share with other couples considering adoption, Dr. Browne-James shared, “You should prepare for unexpected bumps in the road, but know what you’re fighting for, and that it will be worth it in the end.” 

“When I tell you it has been a long road to permanency for these children, I mean it,” said Charles Vance, CCWCMS, Adoption Supervisor, Florida Services. “The last 2 years have been their toughest. Challenging does not begin to describe the road it took to get them to this day, but our team could not be happier or prouder to see where they are now.”

*If you would like to support One Hope United’s efforts to match more children with loving adoptive parents, consider making a gift. 

The back-to-school season brings excitement, nerves, and a season of change for youth of all ages across the country. Youth in Residential or Group Homes may require extra support, and the Youth Care Workers and Staff Members at One Hope United’s Residential programs take careful steps to ensure children and youth have the resources and encouragement they need for a successful school year. 

Read below for a special guest blog from Emily Owen, MS, Director of Programs and Placement Services at the Centralia Residential and Group Home Campuses, about what the back-to-school season looks like for youth in Residential care in Illinois. 

Back-to-school is a time we celebrate in our Residential and Group Home programs each year. Every summer, we throw a Summer Kick-Off event that involves BBQ, games and laughter. Most of our youth attend a summer school program through the month of June. During this time, youth attend classes for half of the day to receive additional educational support and most importantly, credit recovery. This assists in keeping structure and routine in place for the youth as well. 

School can be a difficult time for some. A lot of the youth in our care have bounced around in several different schools because of placement changes, and as a result, are behind academically. This can also be a barrier for developing and strengthening social skills, as well as participating in extra curricular activities. However, many of the youth we serve thrive in school and look forward to getting back into the ritual and routine of the school day. We work with each youth to foster their unique interests and make sure that their needs are being met. 

The young women at our campuses participate in back-to-school clothing shopping as well as supply shopping to prepare for the upcoming school year. One unique aspect of serving many different clients is that they all have individual educational needs. Our youth could attend a variety of schools based on their educational needs, and it is possible that we could be sending youth to 1 of 6 potential educational settings. This can be a juggling act for staff and youth scheduling and transportation needs. 

Each year, we host a back-to-school bash to get our youth excited about the new school year. It is very important for our programs to honor the societal norms that are occurring in traditional homes so that we can make our youth feel like they are special, and to make sure they have access to similar home-based experiences their peers have. Last year, we provided youth with a special back-to-school gift bag that included many fun items for them to enjoy. The bag included sensory items as well as a hand-crafted bracelet with an encouraging note. These types of acts of kindness are always appreciated and encouraged from our donors.

You can make a difference for the youth in our care by volunteering or making a gift. 

According to Mental Health America (MHA), Black, Indigenous, and People of Color are more likely to screen positive or at-risk for alcohol and substance abuse disorders, anxiety, depression, eating disorders, and psychosis. Barriers to accessing quality mental healthcare in BIPOC communities can be attributed to a variety of factors, such as cultural stigma around mental illness, systemic racism and discrimination, language barriers, mistrust of mental health care providers, and a lack of cultural competency on the part of mental health care providers.   

Additionally, MHA reports that: 

• Of the 18.3% of the U.S. population estimated to be Latino or Hispanic, of those, over 16% reported having a mental illness in the past year. 
• Of the 13.4% of the U.S. population who identify as Black or African American, of those, over 16% reported having a mental illness in the past year. 
• Of the 1.3% of the U.S. population that identifies as Native American or Alaskan Native, of those, over 19% reported having a mental illness in the past year. 

At One Hope United, our Case Managers, Youth Care Workers, and Therapists are committed to providing culturally informed, holistic care for thousands of BIPOC children, youth, and families each year. 

Throughout her 30-year career, Jana Grooms, Clinical Director of Placement Services, has seen bias and stigma persist in BIPOC communities around seeking behavioral healthcare. Jana said, “We can’t expect to engage clients in services successfully without building trust and conducting research to ensure our teams understand any cultural differences or biases they may carry into their work subconsciously.” 

Jana also acknowledged that historical patterns and generational trauma contribute to mistrust when it comes to behavioral healthcare. In recent years, she has seen leaders in the child welfare sector conduct more training around cultural competency and cultural differences that may exist between white caseworkers and BIPOC clients. For example, Jana has seen that many Hispanic families want to be very involved with their child’s behavioral health treatment and may not understand why they can’t sit in on their child’s therapy session, because traditionally in Hispanic cultures, families are very tight-knit and view each member of the family as a component of the whole. In her work with Black clients, Jana has seen generational trauma and systemic racism in healthcare negatively impact clients’ mental health and decrease their trust and willingness to participate in services.

“We will continue to work to decrease stigma around behavioral health treatment, and ensure the communities we serve have access to quality programs and services,” Jana concluded.